


Broken Healing

by Ravendite



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Jealous Newt Scamander, Jealousy, Past Newt/Leta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 11:45:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15436353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravendite/pseuds/Ravendite
Summary: After you and Newt both suffer through breakups you try to find solace in each other. Is it possible for two broken people to heal each other?





	1. Chapter 1

You sighed, your heart twisting when you saw Newt’s shattered heart written all over his face. His green eyes looked vacant, red from crying.   
“Newt” you sighed opening up your arms to him. You ran out to meet him in the shack, closing the door to the animals. You moved to the couch as you held him in your arms. As you sat down he leaned on you, you felt his tears moisten your shoulder.  
“She doesn’t love me. She could never love me no one could ever love me.” He choked out.   
“Newt that’s not true. You know that’s not true. People do love you. Your parents love you Theseus loves you I love you.” His breath hitched and he lifted his head from your shoulder.   
“You….love me?” He asked. He looked up at you with his shattered heart in your eyes and your heart twisted.   
“Newt. Im your best friend. Of course I love you.” You told him.   
You didn’t know it was possible for him to look any more dejected but his mood seemed to drop.   
“I loved you once. As more than a friend. Back at Hogwarts. I was in love with you. Because you were handsome, kind, gentle, passionate, and brilliant and loving. You are loving and worth loving and so easy to love. She never deserved your love. She is the one who is incapable of loving, but you are more than capable of being lov-”  
You were cut off when he pressed a kiss to your mouth. His lips were warm and soft and needy and insistent. You were shocked, taking in a kiss that you had wished for for so long. Then you tasted the salt on his lips from his tears. But this wasn’t the kiss. You’d imagined a kiss that was sweet and loving and slow and you’d pull away and look into this green eyes full of love. But that’s not what this was. You pushed him away his eyes open and you didn’t see love you just saw pain.   
“Michael.” You gasped your boyfriend’s name. Newt flinched.   
“I forgot.”   
“Newt I can’t. I-I’m not your rebound. I’m not that kind of girl I don’t know what’s going on with you burnt can’t help you. Not like that.” You said.   
“Im sorry Y/N.” He said.   
You just nodded and hugged him and held him close, trying in vain to fix the broken man before you.   
*****  
A few weeks later you finally understood what newt was going through. You learned the hardest way possible: through experience.   
You had walked into your boyfriend’s office to surprise him with lunch. You were the one who was surprised. He was sitting at his chair making out with a beautiful woman who was straddling his lap, her skirt hiked up around her waist and her shirt unbuttoned.   
You dropped the food you were holding. Startled by the sound, Michael pulled awa from her with a suction noise. When he saw you his eyes widened and he pushed her off his lap and tried to wipe at his face.   
“I’m so sorry babe. I-”  
You just turned and walked away.   
“Just. Shut up. Save it. I don’t want to hear it.”   
You stalked down the hallway and you heard his footsteps right behind you.   
“Baby I’m- Im sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. I love you. I just-things weren’t working. It’s like an 80-20 kind of thing. You give me 80% but- There were a couple things missing from our relationship but I love you.”  
“Missing?!” You asked, turning to face him.   
He nodded.   
“Yeah. There was something missing. Just small things. I told you-”   
“To change my body? Yeah but you also said you loved me.” You said.  
“I do. You’re amazing. I was just supplementing but I love you. Baby we can work this out.” He said.   
You just stared at him, incredulous then turned and ran away without another word.   
“Y/N!” Michael called after you but you kept running.   
As soon as you were out of his line of sight you felt your anger crumble into sadness. The wave of sadness washed over you and the realization that you weren’t good enough suck into your stomach like a punch to the gut.   
Tears were running down your face and sons clawing from your throat by the time you reached the case. You couldn’t go back to your apartment, back to Michael, so you came to Newt.   
Newt saw you and immediately dropped what he was doing and ran out to meet you.   
“Y/N! What’s wrong?” He asked as he pulled you into his arms. He escorted you into the shack and sat you on the couch just as you had done for him. You cried on his shoulder as you sobbed out what had happened.   
“Im not enough,” you sobbed.   
“Y/N. That’s not true. For the wrong person you will never be enough but for the right person you will be everything.” He said, gently pulling your face so you were looking into his eyes.   
“He was the wrong person but to the right person you are everything. You will be everything.” For a second his eyes were shining then you saw the same hollowness you’d seen before. A few weeks ago. It hadn’t faded. The pain from the breakup hadn’t faded. And now you understood that pain. That brokenness. You felt it yourself. You looked at Newt’s eyes, the lingering heartbreak in his matched the prominent heartbreak you felt in yours. His eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips. Desperate to feel something other than the heartbreak you moved closer to him.   
He leaned down and pressed his lips against yours. This time he was gentle and cautious. But this time you didn’t push him away. You responded to his kiss opening your mouth to his and you grabbed the lapels of his jacket to pull him closer. He responded eagerly I,mediate,y exploring your mouth with his tongue and dominating the kiss. He pulled you closer and pulled your body so it was pressed against his. He kept pulling you closer and closer until there wasn’t an inch of space in between you.   
The kiss was filled was filled with fire and you could taste the salt of tears. You couldn’t tell whose. You opened your eyes and pulled away from his lips for a moment.   
“Newt?” You asked, panting.   
He opened his eyes and looked at you, a hurricane of emotion inside the sea of green. He looked sad and passionate and heartbroken and emotional all at once.   
“You know you need this Y/N. This will help you. I will help you.” He said as he gently leaned down to kiss your neck. As he kissed and sucked and bit lower and lower you moaned. It felt so good, but you knew it wasn’t right. Not like this.   
“Newt” you said again,marrying to muster a protest.   
Now he was at the top button of your work shirt. His fingers hovering at the buttons, his eyes hungry, but still waiting for permission.   
“You need this Y/N.” He said, his eyes pleading with you. The pain in his eyes said what he wouldn’t. He needed it too. Both of you, heartbroken, needed each other. And when his lips were on yours the pain was dulled.   
You nodded and he eagerly pulled you back into a kiss. His hands hungrily caressed your body, his fingers warm and gentle and insistent against your skin. His lips on your lips, his tongue in your mouth, his fingers on your skin, they were a drug that numbed the pain of your heartbreak.   
In the back of your mind and in the depths of your shattered heart you felt a flicker of warmth, a flicker of the love you once had for him. But you pushed it down, not allowing yourself to hope again. To get caught up again. You refused to let your heart be broken by him again. You would use him to heal your heart, as he was using you to heal his.   
The mess of your entangled mind and broken heart did not comprehend the irony of two broken people trying to fix each other


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your tentative sessions with Newt become more defined when your ex-boyfriend calls, wanting you back.

You woke up feeling plagued bliss. You felt so light but there was something nagging at you. You sat up, Michael’s green sheets warm and smooth against your bare skin. The smell of breakfast was coming from the kitchen. Eggs and bacon and tea. Suddenly you stopped. Tea? Michael drank coffee in the mornings like most Americans. And he rarely ever made breakfast. Then you looked down and saw, not Michael’s green sheets but yellow sheets. Newt’s yellow sheets. The previous day slammed into you like a wave. You gasped as you doubled over, your heart aching. Michael cheated on you. You weren’t enough for him. And then you slept with your best friend! You gasped, no longer numb but acutely aware. You scrambled to get out of bed. Newt’s bed. You pulled on your clothes just as he walked into the door carrying a steaming tray. He was smiling. “Good morning lo-Y/N. I made you breakfast…” He trailed off as he saw you hurrying to put on your shoes. “You’re leaving.” He said flatly. You nodded. “You don’t have to leave Y/N.” “I do. This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have-I need to talk to Michael.” You said walking towards the door. “Wait. You don’t have to do that. You can stay here with me. Stay here for a month. Take some time. You need it. You deserve it. Take some time away from him because if you go back now you’ll forgive him and he doesn’t deserve your forgiveness.” Newt said. You stopped your hand on the door. He was right. You turned around and walked back to Newt. “You’re right.” You said walking back to him. He looked relieved and smiled. You sat down hesitantly on the edge of the bed. Newt pushed the tray of breakfast to the middle of the bed and beckoned you over. Slowly you pulled off your shoes and crawled over to the middle of the bed and began eating the food he’d made for breakfast. “You made breakfast?” You asked He nodded nervously. “I mean I thought after last night I should. Ingot up and fed the animals and I thought tha-” “That you’d feed me too?” You asked. “Ye-no! Not like that. Not like you’re one of the animals. Cause you’re not. Definitely not. I just-I thought it was protocol after y'know after last night.” He was red as he stuttered through his mishap. You couldn’t help but wonder if Leta had always demanded breakfast from him. You wondered why he made it. Then you tried to shut off all those thoughts. “After Michael leaves I’ll go pack a bag and I’ll come back. One month.” You said quietly. Newt put his hands over yours and you may have imagined it was for more than comfort. Thus the healing began. You stayed with Newt, lived with him, helped him care for his animals, you watched movies and hung out together even more than usual and of course, there were the many nights you spent in his bed. He was amazingly and unbelievably kind and caring. You found your heart mending and it seemed you weren’t the only one. As you became happier Newt became happier. He was so caring and you couldn’t help remembering why you loved him. He warmed your broken heart as he helped put it back together, but you also remembered what happened the last time you loved him. You had to remind yourself that he loved Leta. That he chose Leta over you and it broke your heart. You drug up the memories. The memories of him distancing himself from you the memory of the awkward pained look on his face when you told him you loved him. The way he told you that y'all should have some distance. You brought up those memories and the memories of the pain to keep yourself from falling in love with him again. He chose Leta. He loved Leta. He was using you to get over Leta. You told yourself that again and again. And then took measures to make sure you wouldn’t fall. You moved away from his touch from his embraces. During movie night you moved away from him when he tried to cuddle with you. You ignored the hurt expression on his face each time. The only time you let him touch you was the nights you slept with him. And you made sure to leave so that you wouldn’t wake up with him. That was far too intimate. And you couldn’t afford intimacy with Newt because intimacy meant love and love meant the possibility of breaking your mending heart. By the end of the month you felt so much better. So much better that you didn’t want to go back, the pain had faded, so when you walked into your office and saw Michael sitting there with roses and your favorite food and a box of cards you didn’t crumble or run or cry. You felt a pang in your heart but you sat down. You wouldn’t let him run you from your own office. “What do you want?” You asked him. “To apologize.” He said. You crossed your arms then moved to open the door. “Leave.” You said. He didn’t move. “No.” He responded. “Leave.” You repeated. “No.” He said again. “Why?” You said through gritted teeth. “Because unlike you I don’t leave. You left. You left the apartment you stopped answering my calls. You just disappeared and I’ve been trying to reach you but…you blocked me on everything, so finally I came here. Where have you been?” He asked. “Ive been staying with Newt.” You said, crossing your arms. His jaw clenched, his face turning red with anger. “You’ve been living with another man?” He asked. “Do I need to remind you what you were doing with another woman?!” You yelled at him outraged at his hypocrisy. “I never felt anything for her. You and that stupid Scamander guy have always been close. Then you leave me for him?!” He exclaimed. “I never left you! You cheated on me!” “But we never broke up. I said lets work through it!” Michael responded. “Work through it? Through that?! You cheated. You said I wasn’t enough.” You said to him. His eyes fell in shame, his anger deflated as he sat down in a chair and grabbed your hands and looked solemnly into your eyes. “I’m so so sorry Y/N. I never should have said that. You are so important to me and so much to you. You are beautiful and intelligent and caring and I love you. I miss you. I ended things with her immediately. I haven’t touched her, even looked at her since. I don’t care about her I care about you.” He said. “And what about my imperfections?” “I don’t care. I love you. Your imperfections are part of a perfect you. All your perfect imperfections.” He smiled as he quoted the cheesy line. You tried to keep your face blank but the words he was saying we’re the words you’d wanted to hear for so long. He loved you. That’s what you wanted. That’s what you needed. “It’s not too late is it? Are you…are you with Scamander now?” He asked. You were silent for a few moments, not sure how to answer. You thought of how he made breakfast for you and how y'all almost cuddled during movie nights and how caring he was with you. Those were relationship things. But then you thought of Leta, her old over him. He was just using you to get over her, you reminded yourself even though you didn’t quite believe it. You thought of how he’d chosen her over you and how you were afraid to love him for fear of a broken heart. You ignored that nagging feeling in your heart that hinted that your attempts at not loving him failed. You pushed the feeling down deep and grasped Michael’s hands. “No. That’s….nothing. We’re just friends and he was letting me stay with him while I took a break to figure things out.” You said. “We’ll figure it out together. Come home and we can figure it out together. Work it out together.” Michael said. “Michael I don’t know.” “Please. At least consider it. I love you so much. And I miss you so much. I don’t know what I’ll do without you so I promise I will never cheat again. I’ll shower you with love I’ll be the perfect boyfriend. Just come home.” He pleaded. “I’ll consider it,” you said. A smile flickered across his face. “Thank you.” He said, backing out of the office. Throughout the rest of your day your head was bouncing with so many thoughts. With what Michael had said, what Newt had done. He said he’d shower you with love but you couldn’t help but think about how newt already did it. And newt did it better. But he wasn’t your boyfriend. Michael had said you were his 80% and that’s why he wanted you back. You were mostly what he wanted, more than the other girl, but you still weren’t enough. Not for him. But…to Newt you were just…a rebound. You weren’t anything. You were his best friend that he slept with to get over his heartbreak from the girl he really loved. You walked into the apartment later that evening. Newt was smiling, sitting in an armchair tending to one of his creatures. He grinned when he heard you come in. “Good evening lov-Y/N.” He said. You greeted him back and went to your room to grab your bag and start packing your stuff. You didn’t even notice the flowers and sweets on the table. Moments later Newt bounded into your room, light and happy. You realized as you saw him that he was happier. He was smiling, his cheeks were red, his eyes were bright. He was buoyant and glowing and he didn’t seem heart broken anymore. Pickett hung to his lapel and kept tapping him. He nervously fidgeted and blushed. “So…I wanted to talk to you about something. Also, I um, I saw these beautiful flowers today and I thought of you and it reminded me that’s I wanted to ask you-well you know you’ve been staying here and we’ve been doing stuff and it’s it’s good right? So I-” suddenly he cut off as he saw your bag on the bed and the clothes you were packing. His entire countenance fell, his smile disappeared and his shoulders slumped. “You’re…leaving.” He muttered. You nodded. “Yeah. Michael stopped by my workplace and we talked and I think we’re gonna try to work it out. So I’m gonna go back-” Thump. You turned around and saw so,e flowers on the ground. They’d fallen from Newt’s hands behind his back. “You’re going back to him?!” Newt exclaimed. You turned around and looked at him and you were surprised. Suddenly he looked sad. He wasn’t bright or hopeful anymore. He looked sad. “Newt what’s wrong?” “You’re going back to Michael?” He asked. You nodded. “I’m thinking of trying to work it out with him. He said he’ll do better. He’ll be a good boyfriend he’ll treat me well. I could do worst than a guy who will treat me well.” “Don’t I treat you well?” Newt asked quietly. You paused, your breath catching. Did he say what you thought he said. “You do, Newt you treat me perfectly.” “Then why? I don’t get it. He cheated on you. You weren’t enough for him he doesn’t deserve you he doesn’t even appreciate-” You felt an ache as he reminded you of that feeling of not being enough. “Why would you bring that up? Why would you remind me of that Newt?” You asked him. “Because. He’s the wrong person! I told you a month ago when it happened I told you you’d never be enough for the wrong person but you’d be enough for the right person. And you’re more than enough for me. You’re everything to me. Your smile lights up my life and your laugh makes my heart flutter and your body is perfect to me. Your body your mind your heart I love it all. You are everything to me and you’re only 80% to him and he doesn’t deserv-” Newt cut off his passionate outburst, slapping his hand over his mouth as he realized what he just said. You were shocked. And happy and hopeful, but in denial. “What?” You asked him. His face was red and he shook his head. “You love me?” He nodded. “But Leta.” You said. He dropped his head in shame. You stepped closer to him. “Y/N. I made a mistake.” You remembered how he had kissed you after she broke his heart. Kissed you to try to get over her. “Newt. You don’t love me. You’re just trying to get over her.” “Y/N that’s not true!” “Then why did you kiss me after you broke up with her. You kissed me desperately, desperate for a distraction, desperate to get over her.” “Y/N. You don’t get it. Back when you said you loved me I was conflicted. I was faced with a choice. You or her. And I chose wrong. I knew I’d chosen wrong as soon as you started pulling away. And then when you started dating Michael my heart-I was so jealous of him and I knew I had no right to be. But then she was so cruel to me and I realized that I threw away my shot with you for that. That cruelty. Leta was never right for me. She’s a taker and I chose her over you. I chose wrong. I realized that I’d lost you I’d lost my soul mate and that’s why I was so sad and I was so desperate to go back to choose you. That’s why I kissed you. And then I remembered that you weren’t mine. That I had no right. I had lost you. Then he messed up. Y'all weren’t right for each other and I saw my chance. I thought I might have a chance. That’s why I tried everything. I treated you like I would if you were mine and for a few moments I imagined you were. Didn’t that feel real to you?” He asked. You were numb as you nodded. He loved you. Newt loved you he really had meant it. He wanted more. Your heart swelled with happiness and you felt the walls you’d built around your heart crumbling. You acknowledged your love for him and it began coursing through your heart unrestrained. “Tonight I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend. I was going to tell you I love you and ask you for an official relationship.” He said, his shoulders slumped. “It’s probably too late for that. But I just want you to know I love you I have loved you for so long. You were never just a rebound, never someone I used to get over her.” He said. He looked unto your eyes and picked up the flowers. “I know you’re going back to him but I won’t let you leave without saying it. You are too precious to me for me to just throw away my shot with you. I love you Y/N. You are more than enough for me, you are everything I could wish for and more. I love you and want you to consider being my girlfr-” You cut him off with a kiss. You pulled his body close to yours and you tangled your fingers in his hair as he kissed you slowly, gently, lovingly. When you pulled away his eyes were sparkling with hope. “Does that mean?” “Yes I’ll be your girlfriend. I love you Newt. I love you too. I’m sorry I didn’t want to love you because I thought you didn’t love me and I thought I’d settle for Michael but you-” He cut you off with another kiss. “Its ok love” he said when you broke away for air again. He grinned. “Heavens I’ve wanted to call you that for so long. My love.” You smiled and kissed him again. “I love you.” You said again. You and Newt smiled at each other. You were about to kiss him again when you felt a poke on your shoulder. You looked down and saw Pickett coming out of Newt’s pocket. He clapped his hands together as he gestured between you two. Then he pointed to the bag on the bed. He jumped onto the bed and started trying to pull clothes out. You smiled. “Pickett’s right. I need to unpack this bag. In fact, I need to get some boxes and go back over and get all of my stuff. I have a feeling I’ll be staying a lot longer than just month.” You said with a grin.


End file.
